Amsterdam: La dernière Foncedée

Les Chroniques de la Chronic

Monday, July 10, 2006

Amsterdam: La dernière Foncedée (épisode 11)


Un fumeur n’arrête jamais vraiment de fumer, il passe toujours d’abord par la phase cruciale pendant laquelle il “arrête d’acheter”. Ce qui veut dire que non seulement il faut pouvoir supporter l’humeur d’un fumeur en manque de nicotine mais il faut aussi servir de fournisseurs à tous ces hypocrites qui désirent quand même fumer a certains moments de leur vie sans pour autant repeindre leurs poumon en gris foncé.

Il y a ceux qui ne fument que quand ils boivent mais qui ont une fâcheuse habitude de boire tous les soirs. Il y a ceux qui ne fument que quand ils sont vraiment stressés et qui arrivent toujours à trouver un problème dans leur vie afin de pouvoir taxer une autre clope. Et il y a ceux qui ont arrêté d’acheter mais qui apparemment n’ont pas du tout diminuer leur consommations. Ceux-là sont tout simplement des profiteurs.

Vu que je n’ai pas arrêté d’acheter il est d’autant plus difficile d’arrêter de fumer.

Je me souviens des années post-lycée où plus ou moins tout le monde expérimente les drogues douces avant de murir un peu plus et de sortir de cette phase. Pour un fumeur averti, ils est toujours plus agréable de fumer avec quelqu’un que de fumer tout seul. Par conséquent, un fumeur a toujours un “smoking buddy” (un partenaire de fumette). Le choix de ce partenaire est très important. L’idéal est de se retrouver en face de quelqu’un de curieux ou qui apprécie fumer sans pour autant avoir besoin de beaucoup de THC pour avoir l’air retardé. Ainsi, on a quelqu’un avec qui parler et éclater de rire pendant la consommation du joint sans avoir peur que la personne s’endorme sur le pète. En effet il suffit souvent d’une ou deux bouffées pour qu’un novice soit décalqué alors qu’un pétard entier est parfois insuffisant pour un consommateur averti.

Lors de cette période d’expérimentation, beaucoup quittent l’innocence de l’adolescence et rentrent petit à petit dans un monde où il faut trop souvent faire face à l’agressivité de ceux qui n’ont pas réussi leur vie. Les obstacles qui nous empêche de progresser dans la vie sont parfois de nature médicale, financière ou gouvernementale mais on se rend compte au cours des année que la principale cause de nos soucis c’est les autres. La mort d’un proche, l’égoïsme de quelqu’un que l’on considérait un ami, les trois employés qui sont déjà en train de parler à la nouvelle stagiaire qui pourtant m’était réservée et tous les autres qui créent des petits problèmes à résoudre au quotidien (les pervenches, la caisse des impôts, ma prof de yoga qui me demande parfois de me mettre dans des positions d’acrobate). La citation de Sartre qui ne voulait pas dire grand-chose en cours de philosophie au lycée se révèle au cours des années être une des plus grande vérité de la condition humaine : L’enfer c’est les autres. Alors on essaye de ne pas faire trop attention aux autres et on continue notre chemin jusqu’au jour où on s’aperçoit que notre plus grand ennemi c’est soi-même. C’est alors que l’on essaye de comprendre qui on est.

Voyager c’est un moyen de s’évader, se décompresser et dans beaucoup de cas…de se désintoxiquer. On découvre de nouvelles saveurs, des nouvelles odeurs et on s’enfonce constamment dans l’inconnu afin de mieux se connaître. C’est un moyen de découvrir des gens du monde entier qui partagent tous une même passion et qui ont tous un regard ouvert sur le monde. Quand on voyage on a peu de soucis et il est ainsi plus facile de communiquer. La timidité s’estompe en voyage car il n’y a aucun point de rattache et on partage des moment magiques avec beaucoup d’inconnus qui ont tous un point en commun : un énorme sourire sur leur visage. Selon les pays, on a même parfois la chance de partager bien plus que des moments inoubliables, et on se retrouve en cercle afin de fumer l’herbe locale.

Les rituels sont parfois originaux, les snacks sont toujours très différent mais le principe reste le même. Pour beaucoup, le roulage du pète est un moyen d’accueillir un étranger dans leur communauté, leur demeure ou tout simplement leur vie. Parmi tous les produits de consommation présents sur tous les continents, seul l’herbe ne fait pas partie d’une industrie de globalisation mondiale tel le coca-cola, le Mc Donald’s ou les chips doritos.

Bien évidemment, si on veut pouvoir fumer pendant son voyage il faut choisir la bonne destination.

En arrivant au Népal où je voyageais tout seul, j’étais perdu, déboussolé, et vidé de mon voyage en Inde qui n’étais pas toujours facile. Dès mon arrivée à l’aéroport je devais affronter les grèves et le couvre-feu qui étaient instaurés et je peinais à trouver un hôtel ouvert. Des militaires munis de mitraillettes accompagnent les touristes dans la navette en provenance de l’aéroport afin d’apaiser les envies de quelques rebelles de jeter des cailloux à travers les fenêtres. Une fois mon sac à dos posé dans ma chambre du jour, je parcours les rues de la ville afin d’organiser mon séjour. Je pose mes questions à quelques agences de tourisme et je m’empresse de goûter les délices locales : un mélange de nourriture tibétaine, indienne et chinoise. Je m’avance ensuite vers le centre ville ou je découvre alors quel est le commerce principale dans la ville : Un enfant sur trois se promène avec des kilos de Hashish (plus ou moins bien coupé) et demande à tous les passants à la peu blanche s’ils en veulent. Vu l’ambiance de la ville je suis un peu inquiet et je n’ose pas en demander malgré le nombre important de boulangeries européennes qui se situe prés de mon hôtel et qui vendent de délicieuses viennoiseries pour un prix dérisoire.

Après quelques heures à errer dans la ville je rentre dans une agence touristique qui a l’air de proposer de merveilleux petits séjours. Je rentre à l’intérieur et le parton de l’agence m’accueille avec un grand sourire et un coca. Notre conversation est vite interrompue lorsqu’il sort de son bureau une boite pleine de feuilles à rouler, de cigarettes et de beu et ordonne à un de ses employés de rouler. Il se retourne ensuite vers moi avec le même sourire qui m’avait séduit en rentrant et nous continuons à parler de mon itinéraire. Cinq minutes plus tard son employé était revenu du fond du magasin avec un pète superbement roulé sur un plateau. Je savais alors que j’allais organiser tout mon voyage avec cette agence. La Hashish au Népal est incroyable !

Quelques jours plus tard, le pays fut sous le choc : le roi et la reine ont été assassiné. Les rues sont bloquées par des contrôles militaires, les enfants se révoltent contre les policiers qui n’ont pour arme qu’un bâton, et un touriste Américain se fait tirer dessus après avoir essayé de passer un des barrages à pied. Ce n’était définitivement pas le meilleur moment pour visiter ce pays pourtant très accueillant et plein de délicieuse ressources naturelles.

Mais d’autres pays sont moins tolérants. Les pays musulmans, comme l’Indonésie ou la Malaisie, doivent se visiter sobre car la consommation de cannabis est un crime passable de la peine de mort. Donc…fortement déconseillés à moins que le but du voyage soit de visiter les prisons locales…pendant le reste de sa vie. Il est pourtant très dure de résister à la meilleur herbe du monde même avec de telles conséquences.

C’est ainsi que nous nous somme retrouvés en Thaïlande en train d’acheter de l’herbe à un des employés d’un hôtel avant de vite courir dans la chambre de notre motel qui se situait quelques centaines de mètres plus loin afin de la savourer. En effet, les guides touristiques répétaient sans cesse qu’il était courant qu’un thaïlandais vende du cannabis à des touristes naïfs avant d’appeler la police afin de leur donner le numéro de la chambre de ces dernier. “Le dealer” récupère ensuite une petite commission sur la somme versée par les touristes apeurés aux gentils messieurs de la police afin de ne pas avoir à se faire fouiller l’anus au commissariat. Nous nous en sommes bien sorti jusqu’au moment où nous avons commencé à fumer : L’herbe Thaïlandaise est parfois mélangée avec des substance hallucinogènes et après un mois et demi de sobriété le premier pète fut féérique. Comme une longue crise d’épilepsie qui ne finit pas mal.

Comme partout quand on fume il faut faire attention. C’est dommage.

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